my blood is boiling

sometimes, i just cant STAND my freakin sister… she`s so annoying — everything she does , its like she`s tryna prove to the world how dumb i am. its SO degrading and frustrating. lately i just can’t be around her, she keeps talkin and i just have to walk away and be somewhere else cus OH MY GODD i would’ve slapped her so hard so many times, she would`ve died.

i do alot for her, i`m not sure she ever realizes it… — i don`t get anything back from her BUT continuous taunting and mean jokes that she kNOWS can hit my buttons and make me explode. and when i DO get angry shes like. ‘geez. calm down whats wrong with you, i didn`t do anything” she doesnt know her limits and sometimes i wish i could just beat it into her brain. she knows certain things can hurt me but she doesnt stop taunting me about it… it`s like its funny to her to watch me die of my own misery.

i drive twice a week for her to go tutor and earn money. I don`t have to drive her, i could just tutor by myself and earn double the money. there’s always a schedule to be on, & she can’t commit. she sits at the computer, lookin at people’s myspace comments and pictures over and over and over again like she has no life. i`m sitting there, waiting for her after like 15 minutes when i’ve already told her to get dressed to go (and she’s still at the computer), when i could just go by myself. when my mom’s not home, i know my mom doesnt want us on the computer that much cus its a fucking waste of time basically.. so i tell her to get off after like 3 hrs . but shes like. you`re not my mom, don`t tell me what to do. im like… well just cus our mom isn’t here doesn’t mean that you can do whatever you want. what are you gonna do? wait until she gets home to see you and then get YELLED AT? dumbass.

the other day, she got bored and wanted to go rent a movie at like 10pm. i was tired as ASS but i was like. okay fine and i drove her there. she doesn’t know how much of a pain in the ass DRIVING everywhere is. and one time, i almost ate a whole box of cereal and she decided she was going to cry about it cus it was her favorite. grow UP whineyass. she never thinks about consideration for other people around her… she just takes what she wants and leaves none for others. she doesnt have to spend money for shit but she complains about buying a t-shirt for $3 instead of $6 and i cant drive her anywhere else cus im fucken tired. when we get home, she tells me that she wants that tshirt and i have to drive her to michaels to go get the damn tshirt for her dumb science project. of course, for once i didn’t give in and told her to find an old tshirt upstairs. she starts crying and yelling at me cus im selfish? and SHE’S NOT? then she says she wants a black tshirt and there are only white ones upstairs… i don`t know why she can’t just use a white tshirt for a ONE time DUMBASS science project?! and all the while, i`m cleaning the kitchen and washing the dishes. she even complains and yells about my pantiliners and how THEYRE NOT MINE CUS I DIDNT PAY FOR THEM. wtf man…. i picked them out, i asked for them – you don`t just jack shit from me you know? if you want your own dumb pantiliners, go buy them. cus that’s what i used to have to do, dumbshit.

it all sounds dumb and pointless basically… but when this shit piles up day after day after daaaay. i can`t DEAL with it anymore man.

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i had another funky dream man. i pimped my infiniti j30 and got a new mp3 player that was transparent with BLUE LIGHTS. hahahah. the “pimp my ride” people were gonna give my car hot pink bumpers but i was likE OMG MY PARENTs ARe GONNA KEEL ME. so they just fixed it all up and put some PIMP shit in my carr maaaaaan. iono what else happened ..

andd!!!!! i had a dream YESTERDAY that i was dating this guy named vince from What I Like About You. and he was like oggling all over me at this party….with my parents around? O_o iT WAS WEIRD I TELL YOU…. but thats mostly all i remember.