real lie say shin

there are moments — from time to time i get to thinking about certain issues in my life. i have no doubt that there is unconditional love from my family although there may be a lot of situations that causes strife in my mind.

People i really care about, let me down alot. but being stupid, i disregard these times and try to “forgive and forget” … though i can forgive.. i can`t forget. and this leads to regret — leads to certain grudges.. and although i know what to avoid and how to be cautious, sometimes i get caught up with the better of them and i completely forget how much vulnerability i’m allowing. i’ve always hoped that all i do for them will someday make them realize how much i care – but it never ever seems to have any effect on them. it’s like the people i think care about me, are more superficial with that sense of caring than what i expect. and i guess, all along i kind of knew this — but i don`t know how i kind of just let it go like it’s nothing.

i just wish that someday, i will find the right people to be around — who will be honest to me, honest to themselves, honest to our friendship. i won’t say that i hope this because i think i deserve this, although little part of me thinks i do –

but everything has a way of working out itself.

and i hope that it will come to me someday.